Stare Vero Franco

Wed, 12 Jul 2006 05:51:14 GMT

this morning i weighed in at 173
that is the lowest i have ever been at this hight.
pretty awesome
thats 11 lbs since april
it may not sound like a lot for some people, but for me its huge.
must loose more.

Sun, 09 Jul 2006 06:54:57 GMT

i found out yesterday that i have gastritis.
that could be used to my advantage, but my huge ass has been ona hardcore bingeing spree, sp basicaly i have been throwing up for 4 days solid. (not that different from any other days...)
i'm just going to stop eating.
sounds good to me.
i was at 174 earlier this week. right now i am at about 177, and thats at night with clothes on.
i neeeeeeeed to loose weight!
ugh. fuck.

Fri, 16 Jun 2006 22:51:47 GMT

INSTRUCTIONS: Write ten statements, intended to different people. never tell which one is to who things you've always wanted to tell people.

1. I miss you. Even tho i will not allow myself to ever speak to you again, because of all of the pain that you have caused me, i still miss you.

2. OPEN YOUR EYES can't you see that i am sick? dont you ever wonder what i do in the shower for almost 45 min?

3. stop taking your anger out on me! i am not a fuck up! i do everything that you want me to do and more. why can't you see that?

4. thank you for saving my life. you were my coach and my friend, and i will miss you greatly.

5. i love you even tho we fight worse than anything. you are my sister and i could never hate you.

6. you spent 14 years of my life drinking. I hope that this time you stay sober. i don't know if i will be able to forgive you next time.

7. you have no idea how similar we actually are.

8. when you talk about your diease, you shove it peoples faces like you would die without the attention. do you really wonder why people have stoped responding to you?

9. stop being so hard on your self. stop throing up your food. stop hurting yourself. you are beautiful get that thru your head.

Tue, 13 Jun 2006 02:54:19 GMT

i started at 184
this morning at i was at 176

i want to get down to at least 160, if not 150 by the end of summer.
is it possible? i damn well hope so.

on the 26th i start swim pratice again and also i start my job life guarding.
by then i want to be 170
thats like, 2 weeks. 6lbs in 2 weeks. i can do it.

at first i was having some problems with the pills, but i think i am getting used to them. i am going to start upping the dosage.

starting the 26th my schedule will be
10:00am (sometimes 9:00am) to 12:00pm - Swim Pratice.
3:00pm to 9:00pm - Life Guarding.

i will be fit by the start of school.

tomorrow is my birthday
that means manditory birthday dinner out to eat with my parents.
that also means purge purge time
then after that, i want to keep the cals. about 500.
or below that if possible.
i will be 170 by the 26th.
and 150 by september.
it will happen.

Mon, 05 Jun 2006 02:38:39 GMT

i finally told a friend about the throwing up. it feels good to have at least some one to talk to about it.
i bought diet pills today. i dont know how i feel about that yet...
my birthday is coming up very soon.
i feel like i want to throw up, but i havent eaten anything since noon, and even then just salad.
summer cycle into eating disorderland here i come.

Wed, 31 May 2006 03:46:56 GMT

all i want is for someone to notice me.
i am so tired of the silence.
i have b/p'd every day for the past week.
2 weeks ago i cut again for the first time in almost a year.
i want to do it again.
all i want is for someone to notice me.
and for them to help me, but not judge me.
i dont think i can do this much longer.

Sat, 29 Apr 2006 04:51:29 GMT

i have dropped 4 lbs since saturday.
184
to
180

sweet.

Day 3

Tue, 25 Apr 2006 00:59:35 GMT

Today i had:
Breakfast: 1 rice cake - 70 cal.
Lunch: 1 rice cake - 70cal.
1/4 cup of nuts - 170 cal.
Snack before track: granola&yogurt bar - 140 cal.
Dinner: 1 wing roasted chicken - 26cal.
1/4 cup rice - 170cal.
1 apple - 72 cal.
= 718cal.

Track Pratice:
30 min. running/cardio = 411 cal. burned
45 min. weightlifting = 369 cal. burned
= -780 cal.

total: -62 cal.

yesterday i did shitty and done even want to add it up. i am a fuck tard and ended up purging twice. once after lunch and once after dinner.
but today was pretty good.

Day 1

Sun, 23 Apr 2006 04:40:51 GMT

Starting Weight: 184
short term goal weight: 170
long term goal weight: 150 (or lower if possible)

today i ate:
2 rice cakes- 140cal.
1 turkey burger patty w/ 1 piece of whole wheat bread- 260 cal.
1 bottle of vitamin water- 100cal.
2 servings of baby carrots- 70 cals.
& 4 med. pickels- 20 cal.
so that = 490 calories.
good start

i think that i am going to start with 600 cal. per day for one month, and then work from there.

awesome. now i have to figure out how to make this work...

Newbie!

Sat, 22 Apr 2006 21:48:25 GMT

hey this is my first post, so i guess i will just get it all out there...

i am a bi-polar, recovering cutting, fat bulimic lesbian.
my bulimia is the only secret i have left, and i dont want to be found out about it by my friends and family.
everyone thinks that i am happy, healthy, and healed. the truth is that i have just found another way to deal with the shittyness i call life.
i have been pretty stable with my b/p'ing and haven't really had the urge to do it lately, but i am terrified of gaining anymore weight and food is just pissing me off right now. i have started a restriction/fasting period as of today
and am doing pretty well right now. i've had only 260 cal. which is great for my fat stomach. i'm not sure how long i am going to do it, or how much i am going to restrict, but i'm going to do my best.
i am worried about my sports though. i am on the track team and am a co-captian on my swim team, so i think i am just going to restrict and not fast. i have really funky blood sugar and start to shake if i have had enough to eat. does anyone know a good way to stop that from happening? i hate it and then want to eat something and then hate my self.
well, i guess thats it for right now...
holler holler.

my stats...
Age:16
Height: 5'7"
HW: 210
LW: 173
CW: 180
SGW: 170
LGW: 150